Q1 of 2024 - A Recap
The wins, the losses, and the favorite-bests from the first quarter of this year.
In the first three months of 2024, a lot of life happened. Heck, a lot of life happened in the last three days. As I say, life is life-ing. At the beginning of the year, I joined an alumni call with Future Leaders in Action for an evening of vision board creativity. My vision board is in alignment with my core values (connection, education, and safety). It also all falls under the Taoist belief, which I paraphrased, “muddy water, be still.” I wrote about that concept in January.
My vision board, as shown in an image below, includes things like joining a new team (#OpenToWork), reaching financial health and strength again, and using and embracing what I learned in my master’s program. It also focuses on staying salty as a POTSie advocating for better healthcare, being present in the balance of financial health and personal health, and becoming active with FFDT, Judy’s trainers.
In the center of it all lies my little family and the harmony and unity of life, as depicted by the yin yang tree of life.
Now, quarter 1… let’s get into it.
I have not joined a new team. Does it continue to suck? Yes. Is it absolutely, nearly impossible to be alive without a job since May of 2023? Yes. Am I continuing to network, apply to jobs, crush interviews, and work on defining myself outside of the job-requirement capitalist society we live in? Yes.
My financial health has waxed and waned. Having a super part-time consulting role related to accessibility has given me purpose, and it has also given me small paychecks. The same goes for my very part-time editing subcontract gig.
Gratefully, I have used and embraced my education again and again. Referencing course work, submitting writing samples with applications, and knowing which professors to reach out to has been awesome. This applies not only to my Master’s in Nonprofit Management, but also to my Bachelor’s in Psychology (and English). Education, connection, and safety — they all band together in the higher ed spaces I’ve shared with others.
As a POTSie, I’ve unfortunately been battling daily chest pain, nearly daily dizziness, and the usual pre-syncope. It’s all too much, too often. So is the necessary advocacy, as it is constantly thrown in my face that the medical field doesn’t know, doesn’t listen, and doesn’t want to change. And yet, I rise. I stand up. I advocate. I stay salty.
The balance between financial health and personal health has been absolute hell. Anytime that I’ve been hopeful about a possible job, my mental health and physical wellbeing improves. Hope is a powerful drug. And then when I have received rejections for all of those times, I spiral down. It’s hard to take rejections, it’s hard to do it more than 200 times, and it’s harder when one has bipolar disorder, PTSD, and anxiety. It’s all interconnected. It always has been.
In perhaps the most exciting news, we have begun working with Judy’s training team. This has been a win and a challenge. Learning more about training in general has been awesome, as has watching Judy learn more about how to best be a dog. It’s also been another financial strain, as if we don’t have enough.
The highlight through all of this has been the folks who are sticking around, staying true, and standing up. Thank you to those who have
Been the friend to internally refer me for a job before I even applied.
Helped us move into a place that suits my accessibility needs and aligns better with our finances.
Provided financial support through direct payments, physical gifts like animal supplies and food, or venmo payments to cover the last bit of multiple bills.
Groomed Judy.
Listened to me cry.
Listened to me hope and dream and laugh.
Taken walks with me and Judy.
Taken Judy on a walk when I can’t stand up.
Given us days that feel good and fun, like taking us to buy a thing we don’t need but just want or spending time and money on a meal that isn’t Taco Bell or from the freezer / pantry yet again.
Reviewed my job application materials… again.
Thank you to everyone who has shown up. You give us reasons to keep going and to keep pushing toward our goals. You share the difficult and the amazing with us. You show us, time and time again, that we have really good people in our lives.
And lastly, to my partner, thank you for sharing your favorite-bests with me and encouraging me to do the same even when it’s hard. Perhaps my favorite win from Q1 is our new traditions, the ones in which we practice gratitude more, spend time intentionally more, and lean into our meditation practices more. Here’s to the more.
Here’s to all of us — we are who we have.